So, it's just me at home and I thought why not bloooo-ug. John and Tina are out with Dad Tai (John's Dad) having some bonding time golfing at Mulligans. We went golfing Monday for FHE and today I wasn't feelin' it, plus father son time is good! I'm cooking dinner just waiting for my loves to return home. I've been so off this week, so I'm trying to get my groove back. I haven't worked out for almost three weeks now, but I'm okay with that. I've been having this Vlog or Youtube channel idea on my mind for quite sometime, but I'm still unsure if I'm really down to do it, but I will fill you in if we do. :) I did mention in my last blog about how I was training for Jetblue Airways to become a reservations crewmember, well...that didn't happen! So, lets talk about that.
Jetblue, ain't happenin'...
I think I applied like a while ago, it was sometime this year. I told John if I got a job, he better promise he'd start school. I am hoping he starts school next month even though I'm not with Jetblue anymore, but I did keep my word though, right? Lol. So, like a month after I applied I was sent an email of an assessment...long story short I was hired. Then this past Tuesday I used up my last tardy pass...2 freakin mins late & then I was released. (Oh, sad day!...not really) Before I accepted the job, I was kinda iffy about it, only because I wouldn't have anyone to watch Tina. Before, I go into more detail I ain't just writing this because now I'm not working for Jetblue anymore, it's cause now I have time. So...like I was saying before, I applied and decided to work only because I needed the experience, the extra money is always nice and of course the best part of it all, flying benefits. I haven't held a job longer than like two months because of school and then another job I got laid off. I think I only had three jobs my whole life besides delivering papers when I was a child. I didn't work in high school because I didn't have my social security or green card being that I was born in New Zealand, but I don't know if that really could've stopped me from finding work. None of my siblings worked until after high school, so maybe that was the reason. Anyways, back to the subject...I didn't want to work because Tina was my priority and responsibility and I didn't want to just hand her a way to have someone else watch her while I make money and do me. First off, I didn't need to work, plus with Jetblue I would only be making $9.50 an hr and with part-time, making less than $300 a week. Yes, there are flying benefits involved and I'll get into that soon. I didn't need to work and I didn't want anyone watching my daughter who God entrusted me to care for...but yes, everyone has different circumstances, so I'm only talking about my situation. I didn't need to work and while I was training at Jetblue for the past 2 1/2 weeks I was emotional and had mixed feelings about the whole thing. I didn't like that feeling of calling around to find someone to watch my daughter. John and I had it all planned out before hand and this job seemed like a blessing because I would be working from home and training would be in the evening. It was perfect. With school, I was planning on doing that part-time too. Everything seemed to be falling into place just as we planned it. Training started at 3:30pm and John gets off at 3:30ish-4:00ish in the evening. At the time he was able to be home, but other times he would call me and tell me he wouldn't make it home on time...now what was I suppose to do? We do have the most loving family. We live with John's grandma, whom I just call grandma and she has plans of her own throughout the week. Some days I would ask her and she was able to watch Tina or she had plans to do other things and other times she would forget. Lol. I can't blame her for that. Then there is Tina, one of John's sister's whom our daughter is named after, who has four kids of her own and as much as I trust her and love her for her willingness to watch baby girl, I still felt like it was mine and John's responsibility. Even though Tina was willing to watch baby girl, I didn't feel it was right because I know she had plans of her own and four kids of her own to care for. There was also John's cousins, Saane and Siu who would watch Tina, but again...it just didn't feel right. I know, you're probably thinking, I waited to have been released from the job to except being just a stay at home mom. I thought maybe after these 6 weeks of training things would be different once I started to work from home, but there's more to it then just finding a sitter. I hardly saw John throughout the week, my relationship with Tina was shaky, and I was tiring myself out doing all mommy duties before work. My first tardy was because John wasn't able to make it home on time, so I had to rush her over to Tina's. My second tardy was because I was cleaning up, doing laundry, and making dinner for my family before leaving off to work. John only knows how to cook certain foods and it was easy for him to just eat out, which was not fitting into our budget. I took it upon myself to try to make food before I left. During training, with all my mixed feelings about the job, I was praying. Driving to and from work, I would turn the radio off and just talk to Heavenly Father about my concerns and what I needed to be doing...and I think being released was my answer. I remember when I was running late, in the back of my mind I was at ease, I wasn't in a hurry, I didn't feel the need to rush and when I was released I felt ok. Yeah, there's those what if's, but for the most part this past week has been amazing being able to see my love and spend time with my daughter. Through this whole experience, John and I were taught a great lesson. I was excited about the flying benefits, but in then end flying benefits isn't worth having to work for to skip out on my role at home and being with my daughter. It may work in other homes, but for John, Tina and me, it just wasn't meant to be. John loves having me home and loves taking his naps after work. We're more appreciative of our roles in the home. With that being said here's a quote that I really needed to read this week by idk who, "You may not always end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you are meant to be." Like, right on! Right?!? Perfect timing and all. & I am right where I need to be! :) I do want to give a s/o to all those hardworking momma's who do have to work and still hold it down at home and to all those stay at home momma's who handle biznass at home because being with kids 24/7 can drive you go crazy! But, I will take all the cray cray to be with my baby girl!
I can't begin to explain how much I love being a stay at home mom now! I'm grateful for the opportunity at Jetblue, but I'm more grateful to be home with my daughter. It's a blessing to be home and I'd rather cook, clean, do laundry, shop, budget our income and pay bills, teach and do fun things with our daughter than work. Not that I didn't love being a stay home, but my eyes are more opened and I'm grateful. Sometimes I did feel being a stay at home mother wasn't enough, but it's everything. Tina loves having me home and I think this just opened our eyes more. I love my man more for working hard for our family and grateful for his efforts at home, but let's face it...I do my job best at home and John does what he does best at work and together it works out perfectly for our family. We do have to give it up for grandma for allowing us to live in her home while we pay off some debt. She's so kind to let us only pay $300 in order for us to pay off debt and save for our own home. We want to be debt free, or mostly debt free, before we purchase a home. We've been doing great with our savings and budgeting because John finally trusts me to handle it and it helps when we doesn't mess everything up plus he doesn't like budgeting anyways. John has been doing well with his job and has been getting raises. John's more of the spender and I'm more of the saver. The envelope method has been working well for us and we save $500 a month which we leave in our savings account. Trying to be more realistic with our budgeting this time around. So yeah, because if I had a Vlog/Youtube channel it wouldn't take this long to type it all out. Haha. That's it for today! Just received a call from my loves and they're on their way home. Excited for popcorn & a movie :)
I seriously can't believe how long it takes me to blog though. I think this was one of the reasons why I stopped blogging before and we'll see how much I blog once school starts up again. Vlog or nah? What are your thoughts on it? (if anyone is reading it, lol)
